One of the greatest difficulties for people with epilepsy (and their families) is the profound instability that seizures can cause in daily life.
I’ve heard seizures referred to as “a storm in the brain.” I think an earthquake is a better analogy.
Those of us who live on the East Coast experienced our first large earthquake on Tuesday. I live just outside of DC. I’ve never really experienced an earthquake before. It was unexpected. It was frightening. It took a long time for me to realize what was happening. When I did realize what was going on, my heart was racing and I was shaking a bit.
Psalm 46:1 – 2
God is our refuge and strength,
a very present help in trouble.
Therefore we will not fear though the earth gives way,
though the mountains be moved into the heart of the sea….
My husband experiences something like a personal earthquake every time he has a seizure. Some seizures are large, some are small … but they always strike with minimal warning, impact his ability to think and drain his energy for the rest of the day.
Lately, Ben has been having about 3 small seizures per week. I cannot imagine what it is like for him to know that at any moment his brain can effectively betray him and take over. The seizures last less than 30 seconds. But for Ben, it’s 30 seconds of an earthquake in his brain followed by an afternoon of exhaustion and fear, not knowing when or where the next one will take place.
I have a bad day when Ben has a seizure. My heart aches with sorrow. Sometimes it also races with fear. I am Ben’s caregiver. But I am also his wife. When he hurts, I hurt. When he suffers, I suffer. I do not always know how to separate my emotions from his physical state (that’s a subject for an entire post!).
One thing I cling to is that even when our lives are filled with instability, God is faithful! How thankful I am that we are not left alone with the earthquakes and the seizures of life. Rather, we can focus on our God in heaven to help us when the earthquakes hit.
Isaiah 33:5 – 6
5 The Lord is exalted, for he dwells on high;
he will fill Zion with justice and righteousness,
6 and he will be the stability of your times,
abundance of salvation, wisdom, and knowledge;
the fear of the Lord is Zion’s treasure.