“If God conceals anything, He does so to cause us to trust in Him. What we already know leaves little room for trust. Conversely, we have to depend on Him for what we do not know. Providence sends us various trials and all of them are for the purpose of exercising and increasing our faith.” Charles Spurgeon
I want to know the future. God wants to increase my faith.
Today is the first day of school for our three children. Em is in 7th grade … how did she get to be so old? Joel is in 5th grade, and Meg is in 2nd. We love our small Christian school and we are so thankful to God that our children can attend there. For the past few years, I have taught there part-time. This is the first year that I will not be teaching at my children’s school. I will no longer see my children during the school day, walking down the hallway, stopping by to say hi, or in class … and most likely, I will not be there for them when they get home as I am looking for a new full-time job to provide income and benefits for our family.
This year I have decided not to teach. I have found myself worn out after days of teaching, multi-tasking and interacting with so many students of various ages. I am asking God to provide me with a job where I come home less worn out; where I have more left to give to my family at the end of my day. But change is difficult, and I do not know right now what job God will provide, or what the commute, hours or pay will be like.
Right now, the only thing that is certain in our lives is the fact that our circumstances are changeable and trusting God looks different every day. Sometimes I feel like we are the unstable man described in James 1, whose faith is “like a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind.” Other times I am aware that though we are driven and tossed, we definitely have a strong anchor that is holding us, “a sure and steadfast anchor of the soul” (Hebrews 6).
Oh how thankful I am that it is not my hold that keeps me, but His hold on me.
I want to know the future. I can pray for our circumstances. But even more, I pray that our future yields a more vibrant faith, a more childlike trust, and a closer walk with God.
Please join me in that prayer. Thank you!