Like parents of kids with hidden disabilities, I have to deal with the death of a dream.
But as the spouse of someone who has a disability, I believe I am also dealing with something very different. I married someone who has now changed dramatically due to his disability. I live not only with the loss of a dream, but in many ways with the loss of some reality….I need to accept the fact that the person I married is gone and I need to find ways to adjust to this new person with his disability.
Ben and I are learning together. It has been almost 10 years since my husband became disabled. And we are still growing together on this journey, still figuring out what is normal and natural for us together.
The process is not easy. We often struggle to find God in our search. But we know He is with us…sympathizing, caring, comforting. Just as I love climbing into bed surrounded by my blankets and pillows (and comforter) at the end of a long day, I love the image of God as our Comforter. While He may not provide answers or change, the Holy Spirit functions as the Comforter. 2 Corinthians 1:4 says that God “comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.”
I pray that one day we would truly find a community where this mutual comfort can be lived out and where we can find God using our pain for His glory.